Fireproof – Popcorn, soda and Marriage Counseling and Christianity at your local theater
Fireproof – Popcorn, soda and Marriage Counseling and Christianity at your local theater.
Rated: PG Time: 2:02
Stars: Erin Bethea, Ken Bevel, Kirk Cameron, Jason McLeod, and others
Final Grade: B
Overview: Ok, I’m split on this movie. Hang in there with me because we’re going to hit this one from two sides: The movie and then my concern with how the story line is presented.
The movie opens with Fire Captain Caleb Holt (Bevel) having some serious and obvious issues with this wife and marriage to the local hospital public relations liaison, Catherine Holt (Bethea). It’s the usual issues about who’s not doing what around the house, the wife wanting to spend what the husband has been saving for several years on a project that she thinks has a higher priority, but nothing to do with the home and how the husband feels he’s getting respect and appreciation from everyone in his life except his wife. And as you would imagine, they have drifted apart and the very striking Catherine has caught the eye of a doctor at the hospital that she starts taking an interest in, and well, you can guess how their home life deteriorates from that point on. The basic concept and tenets to this point we’ve all heard of at least one time in our lives, in the lives of our close friends, if not in our own. It’s part of humanity. Needless to say, they both head for separate bedrooms and bring in the lawyers.
At this point in the marriage decline, Caleb’s father suggests a 40 day stay of proceedings and that Caleb follow the instructions in a book he’s going to be sent. As you would imaging, the book is a very heavily “faith based” document with some tasks that he’s to perform each day, Bible texts to read, etc. Add to this, Caleb is being encouraged by his fellow fire fighters to take more interest in Christ and his religious life.
Well, true to the script, Caleb follows the 40-day plan, spends his savings on what his wife wanted, incorporates more Christianity in his lifestyle and Catherine sees the errors of her ways and comes back to him. And they live happily ever after.
The basic overall direction of this movie is to return to Christ, follow the 40-step book and things will all turn out OK. I have to admit, the movie is very well done, but I am concerned that the script may present a false expectation as sometimes God does say “no”. The movie is also a two hour advert for a website which offers marriage counseling services as well as the 40-day guide book referred to in the movie – how convenient!
Now, I want to look at part of the script. It’s almost as if it’s written from a wife’s perspective and with a matriarchal set of priorities as to how a marriage should work and the roles of the husband. Early in the movie it’s clear that the wife is not happy that the husband won’t relinquish the money he’s been saving several years for a boat and let her spend it on some items her parents need. It’s clear, at least to me, that she thinks he should be doing the shopping and other general domestic tasks, while she attends to her priorities in life. From the conversations, their sex life is non-existent because he’s not conforming to her priority list and she’s become a cuckolding frigid bitch. Needless to say, the lack of fun at home isn’t settling well with a husband who’s putting his life on the line regularly as part of his work as a professional fireman, is well thought of by his peers, but gets no respect at home, not to mention anything else. I can’t begin to tell you how many guys I know in real life have told me similar stories. In fact, you’ll find most likely that there’s a lot of husbands, who if they DO have a savings account for a special project, most definitely don’t tell their wife’s about it! They’ve learned that lesson the hard way.
The BIG thing that stuck out in my mind in this movie was the event leading to the wife’s turning point. It wasn’t that the husband had done the 40-day program, done all the domestic chores and joined the ranks of the emasculated male husband population. The turning point was when he spent the money the way she wanted it…and this was the culmination at last to her total priority list. In effect, he totally capitulated to all her demands, gave up his savings and goals, and then she came back. Frankly, you have GOT TO BE KIDDING if you think this is the way to form a successful marriage. Clearly Catherine’s interests and loyalties go with the person who’s spending the most money on her – she’s going with the highest bidder. We have another word for that in the English language, I’ll let you figure it out!
If you’re going to see this flick and if you’re going to go through their 40-day program, which frankly I have absolutely no problems with, ( provided that you don’t lose your own priorities and goals in life, totally, to the whims of your spouse, regardless of weather you’re the wife or husband), then I wish you well. Frankly, I think both spouse members should have their own goals in life and be striving towards them in a collective fashion, but to a major part, it’s the differences that the wife and husband bring to a relationship that also helps build the strengths.
Wives, I would heavily recommend that if you’re going this route that you also pick up a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book “The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands”. Frankly I found it to be a rather balanced approach to explaining why men act the way that they do, and that it’s normal for them to do things that men do. And, I found it refreshing that a female of Schlessingers renown would write such a book!
Finally, none of us has a monopoly on brains. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling from professional and accredited counselors – and this doesn’t mean just your local clergy. After many years I’ve come to the conclusion that a little couch time really never hurt anyone.
I’m Don Rima and that’s the way I saw it, From Where I Stand.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
That’s an interesting way to put it. I think for the most part, you’re right except, in Catherine’s defense, I think that if it hadn’t gotten as bad as it did, he wouldn’t have to have used all the moeny in his savings account to save the marriage, but I can only speculate. Also, at the end, when she came to him and said that she’s noticed a change in him and that she wants whatever happened to hi, to happen to her, I sure hope she changed the way he did, in that he would become more important to her than any sum of money even if he wasn’t so nice to her later.
=====
Response:
Aleksey, If you follow the script line, at the end, the ONLY reason she returned to him was that she realized, at the store and after talking to the clerk, that the person who really paid the most for her parents items wasn’t her favorite E/R doctor, it was her husband. It was AT THAT TIME that she had whatever epiphany and came back to him. Had he not spent the money there is no doubt in my mind she would have continued on her divorce trend.
- DR2
I think you have every right to see the movie the way you saw it, but it’s not the way I took it at all. I think that when he used that money on her parents it showed her how far he was really willing to go to save their marriage. It was the motive behind the money, not the money itself. I definitely think they focused too much on what he did to ruin the relationship; didn’t show her contribution to the demise of their marriage enough. Regardless, the meaning behind the movie was that with a little help from God and having him at the center of your marriage, no matter how you are changing, if God is the focus you’ll both be working towards him; it will strengthen your marriage.
Just my opinion.
=======
Reply:
You do bring up some good points, however, in terms of what her true motivating factor was in returning to him, I would refer you to the final scene of her at the counter where the stuff for her parents was purchased. After she praised her E/R doctor friend for his benevolence, the cashier pointed out that it wasn’t him, rather her husband that did the purchasing and that the E/R guy only paid $300. It was only then that she did an about face.
I do agree with you that with God, all things are possible.
DR2
Yes & I said that I did see that & could see why you would think that, however from a females perspective, I think it was the motivation behind the money not the money itself. I could be completely wrong, but that’s the way I saw it, from a female perspective.
===========
Reply:
Hey Courtney,
You’re not the only female that has seen it from that perspective, but there are females that have seen it from both perspectives. It appears to be almost a polarization in the responses I’ve gotten from female viewers. They see it either the way I did or the way you did. Not much gray area in between.
Eh, that’s what makes life fun sometimes.
All the best and keep in touch.
DR2
Yes, that is what makes life fun. I do find it interesting that there is little in the way of gray.
That is one thing that is great about movies & books, it is up for interpretation. I got a lot from that movie that my husband didn’t & vice versa. Glad they made it.
Interesting your point of view. In my opinion, the intention of Caleb was to show his wife his change, his willingness to sacrifice his own interests, in order to see her happy. And he didn’t tell anything to anybody. To me, what made Catherine to finally turn back to her husband was to see how he decided to put her interest over his, without caring all the sacrifice that Caleb had made to buy his boat. That’s what love is about, not to satisfy yourself, but to sacrifice yourself in order to make your spouse happy. ” Love is not to spend all day looking your couple’s face, love is to look together every day on the same direction” Antoine de-Saint Exupery
Best regards from Nicaragua
============================
Mauricio,
if you follow the script and plotline, she starts giving him problems, ignoring the house,etc., when he won’t spend the money he’s got saved for his boat on her.
Follow the script further – see how much she applauds, lauds and praises her new found E/R doctor friend because he spent the money on her.
Follow the script further – when she’s at the store talking to the clerk about the payment for her mother’s stuff, she makes the comment about her ‘anonymous benefactor’. At this time, the clerk tells her that her E/R squeeze only paid $300 and the rest was paid by her husband. IT IS NOT UNTIL THIS TIME, that she has a change in attitude. IT IS NOT UNTIL she hears that her husband spend all his long saved money on HER PROJECT that she has a change of heart and comes back to him.
Clearly, this golddigger wife of his is totally money driven. And, you wouldn’t believe how many guys have come to me and flat out told me “I don’t tell my wife if I have a few bucks saved away for something, because if I do she’ll make my life pure hell until she knows where it is and has spent it the way she wants to”.
Mauricio, the concept you present is great and I totally support it. But the reality for many marriages, including the one in this film, IS as I have described.
Frankly I found alot of more basic relational truth in the movie “The Ugly Truth”. Checkout my comments on it on this site as well.
Great to hear from you in Nicaragua! I hope you keep reading and tell others about the site.
All the best!
DR2
I see both your side of the movie and the sides presented above. Frankly, money should not be his and hers in a marriage. Both parties should agree on where money should be put, ie spend save and give. It is unhealthy in a marriage to “hide money”
=========
Cori,
in an optimal world I would agree with your statements for the most part.
But, we’re not talking an optimal world, we’re talking about a movie.
We’re constrained with what is poitrayed in this script. You have to stay within the bounds of what’s written in this script. And, in this script, she is clearly a gold digger that goes to the highest bidder. She totally refuses to return to her husband until she is informed that it’s not her E/R doctor squeeze that’s the big benefactor for her parents stuff, it was actually her husband who gave up his ALL. It is ONLY then that she returns to him. I specifically would suggest you replay the scenes where she’s in the store talking to the gal at checkout. She’s sure the E/R squeeze bought the stuff and she’s singing his praise up until the clerk tells her that she’s wrong. This chick goes with the money! What I dont’ understand is how all these Christian groups are missing the plot line in the script! Clearly, the plotline is that the husband should give up all his goals, aspirations, money, etc., and give it to his wife and that she should have the role and right of demanding it. Sorry, I don’t agree with this script.
And, if this is what mainstream Christianity is touting as the way things are to be, then there’s alot of males out there that need to grow some balls and smell the coffee!
That’s the script. When you’re looking at a movie, you are totally constrained within the lines of the script. In this case, it’s black and white obvious.