Old Dogs – A real dog of a movie with a capital WOOF!
Old Dogs – A real dog of a movie with a capital WOOF!
Rated: PG Time: 1:28
Stars: Kelly Preston, Ella Blue Travolta, Robin Williams, John Travolta and others
Final Grade: C-
This movie opens panning the audience through lots of old pictures of Charlie(Travolta) and Dan(Williams) growing up as kids. The incredibly poor photoshop kluges would hopefully make you think they’d been friends since their mothers whelped them years ago. This is your first guess as to how not good this movie is going to be.
Spinning forward in time, Dan is in withdrawal from a very painful divorce. He’s the wimpy silent brains of the marketing duo that pairs up with conceited extrovert, uber horndog, Charlie. Charlie’s the kind of guy that makes used car salesmen look good and father’s dread will target their daughter.
To help Dan over his post divorce depression, Charlie takes him to South Beach, Miami where the two spend a wild time getting drunk and hooking up with women. In a drunken stupor, Dan gets a stupid tattoo, married and divorced again, all in the span of 24 hours. And, why anyone as hot as Vicki(Preston) would marry and bed Dan on an evening’s date is nothing short of credit to too much alcohol in one’s body. Don’t you just love these Disney role models?
Spinning forward 7 years finds Charlie and Dan are now vying for the business deal of their career with a Japanese firm. Guess who pops back into town? Yup, it’s Vicki and she’s got a surprise, Dan’s twin kids. Problem is, Vicki’s getting ready to do a 20 day jail term starting tomorrow for being a tree hugger and she needs Dan to mind his kids.
The rest of the movie plots around Dan trying to be the dad these kids haven’t had for 7 years while he and Charlie still try to make the Japan deal. The roles of life, kids and what are one’s real priorities in life mixed with how one tries to get his kids and family back together fill out the remaining time until the credits role.
If you’re a Robin Williams fan, as I am, you’ll enjoy some of the laughs and antics, but when the credits roll you’ll wonder if your time wasn’t better spent waiting in line at a Black Friday sale. Elle Blue Travolta is a darling, but not darling enough to save this film.
If you catch this one on cable, nobody’s going to blame you.
I’m Don Rima, and that’s the way I saw it, From Where I Stand.
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